Lists

Is it just me, or is wintertime the WORST?  I get into a funk every time.  For the past couple years, I thought it was because I lived in wasteland Utah and had to slog through snow every day, didn't see the sun for months, was always cold, got pale and chubby, stuff like that.  And also because I was always breaking up with someone.  Seriously, every winter for the past several years.  But turns out, I still felt gloomy here in sunny, mild Arizona this past winter even though the weather was great and I have a husband that I will never break up with.

 Luckily Spring is here now and life is good again, but I still try to actively work on being happy.  I just finished The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and I definitely recommend it.  I read it every morning while on the treadmill for a month of two and both of those activities just made my days better.  I try to do something special every day that will make me feel accomplished and happy.

One of the biggest things I did to become less grouchy and more productive this Winter was to start making lists.  I love lists.  I keep lists of books I really want to read, books I probably should read but probably won't, baby names (Robby doesn't like any of the baby names I like, or basically any names at all.  We can't agree on anything, so I'm starting early and keeping a very long list of every name I would be remotely content with naming a baby.   I am so worried that our children will be nameless.  I can't even talk about this anymore.  This parentheses is way too long), wish lists, dream house requirements, things to do if I'm bored, quotes I like, projects I want to do, things I want to write about, and, duh, grocery lists.  

I LOVE LISTS.

Making lists makes me so happy.  So here is my "best of" list for today.

Best Wedding of All Time:

Kate and William.  It's their one year anniversary on Sunday!  P.S. I saw this happen.  I was in London when they got married.  I will never stop bragging about this.

Best Video I've Seen Today:

New York City Ballet "Pointe Shoes" from Galen Summer on Vimeo.

I am obsessed with pointe shoes.  I did ballet for years and years and really defined myself as a ballerina as a child until I realized I was really bad at it.  I just did not have any ballet talent.  I didn't have the right body type, but mostly, I did not have grace.  I am the opposite of graceful.  And I am not even saying that because I am trying to be cute and self-deprecating.  I am genuinely clumsy.  I drop everything.  I get angry just thinking about the number of things I have spilled this week.  Also, remember this? So I quit dance and started swimming (can't trip doing that), but still will always love ballet and especially pointe shoes.  They are so beautiful and well-engineered.   I wrote an essay in eighth grade about buying my first pair of pointe shoes, and, not to brag, but I won the district writing contest.  I guess you could call it my big break or something.

Best Video I've Seen Ever:

I am a little bit embarrassed to admit that I freaking love this song.  But mostly I'm not, because watching this makes me so happy.

Best Slideshow:

This one of City Hall marriages!   Beautiful people, interesting stories, awesome outfits!  So much to love!

Best Article Ever:

This one about Kanye West.  Just read it all.

Best Short Story:

In The Gloaming by Alice Elliot Dark.  Unfortunately, I can't find the full text online for this anywhere, but it is so good.  Please find a way to read it.  I read this for a class last night and literally wept the entire time.  It is about a mother and her dying son.  It is beautifully framed and beautifully written and so symbolic and makes me want to have a son, and I am terrified of having a son.  It is by a landslide my favorite short story I've read for school this year, and probably my favorite short story ever.

Best Things I Have Pinned:

Best website:

whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com

Sorry for the language and crudeness, except for not really (except for really).  But, THIS IS THE FUNNIEST WEBSITE EVER

And there goes my afternoon.  That's all.  Bye, guys.

Married.

Today Robby and I have been married nine months.  I feel like this is the most notable milestone yet.  3/4 of a year.  The length of time required to gestate a baby.  That is a big deal.  

Although we plan on staying childless for a while longer (see below), today I'm thinking about how I potentially could be becoming a mother right now.  Isn't that crazy?  Literally right now.  I could be in labor.  In a hospital.  It would be so crazy and dramatic and awesome.      

Just kidding.  Sorry, that was weird.  What I'm really thinking about today is how much I didn't even know what being married was about before I got married.  My life is so different than what I would have predicted it would be like at this point.  Things have not gone according to plan since I got married.  But I had a very weirdly specific plan.

Everything has been so much better than I expected. 

We weren't planning on being so involved at Church.  Robby is the Elder's Quorum President and I'm in the Primary Presidency, where I wrangle kids for two hours every week.  I would never have predicted that this is where either of us would be on Sundays, but it's been a great experience. Robby is obviously a lot busier than me, but still, Primary is hard.  

For instance, last week I had to help in Nursery because all of the babies were crying at once and none of the regular volunteers were there.  It was kind of like hell.  The kids were all so offended at me.  I felt like what they were trying to communicate to me, in baby talk, was, "Who do you think you are to distract me while my mother left the room and then to act like I will find any interest in your ridiculous puzzles or blowing bubbles?  Who do you think you are?  Stop touching me."  What they really said was "MAAAAAMAAAAAAAA" while lunging for the door and shooting me dirty looks.  This experience is why, as I mentioned earlier, we are not having kids for a while.  

I also wasn't planning on not being done with my undergrad, but it turns out that I am not Superwoman and I can't finish a year's worth of classes online in two months and then immediately start a master's degree.  That was quite the life lesson.     

We weren't planning on getting robbed, or having a cat (that hates us), or being this tired all the time, or not being able to buy everything we want all the time(maybe that one is just me), or acting like such grown-ups, but we are.  And it's awesome.  

I'm learning that Robby brings out the best in me.  I don't think I understood this when I married him.  He goes out of his way to make sure he understands everything I'm saying and always asks me how I feel about things, since I am less than good at sharing my feelings.  Because he makes me feel so heard, I am getting better at communicating.  He also helps me get out of my various comfort zones--social, intellectual, spiritual,  which makes me a happier person.  I feel like I can accomplish so much more with him encouraging me.  

We make a good team.  He is a cool guy and I love him.    

Johnny Got His Gun 2.0

So I just stubbed my toe and I started crying uncontrollably.  Weeping on the floor.  Lying face-up, screeching.  Blubbering and awaiting death.  It might appear that this was an overreaction, but here are some other things about my life.

First of all, my toe is bleeding and it really hurts.  Who in the world has ever stubbed their toe so hard that it bled?

Also, last week I jammed my finger in a drawer I was closing at work.  It bled.  Again, how?

The next day I  chopped another finger on a mandolin while I was slicing potatoes.  It bled.  So much.  I went to Urgent Care.

On Thursday I burned another finger while I was making dinner.  It...did not bleed.  But it hurt.

The point is, I am living my life without the use of virtually any of my digits.  I cannot enjoy any of the evolutionary benefits of being an adult homo sapien.

I bought a first-aid kit when I got married nine months ago.  All that is left is a cold compress and the weird-sized band-aids.  My life is a shambles.

On the bright side, I decided drinking diet soda is not detrimental to my health, thank you very much, after reading this.  So at least I have Diet Dr. Pepper.  I'm just going to sit here drinking zero calorie caffeinated beverages until all of my extremities are rendered useless and I can accomplish nothing significant with my life, since I am a limbless cripple.

P.S. Does anybody else live in constant fear that when you get a drink at a drive-thru, the employees decide they want to sabotage you and secretly give you FULL-CALORIE regular soda pop instead of diet?  #whitegirlproblems